Kristi Noem Written Update: Secret Tapes Expose Puppy Scandal Cover-Up – Biden Team Laughing?!
June 18, 2025, 3:17 PM EST —
My insider whispers landed just now, folks. Kristi Noem written update got real messy today. That book No Going Back ain’t selling, no sir. Big GOP donors grumble behind closed doors about her puppy story. Haunts her like a ghost.
📉 Book Sales Bomb
South Dakota’s governor hides from cameras since May. Hardcover copies rot in bargain bins: $3.99 stickers slapped on covers. A Barnes & Noble clerk hissed (off-record): “We moved ’em near gardening tools. Fitting.” Publishers Weekly leaks confirm returns outpace orders 3-to-1. Her advance? Poof—gone.
😂 Democratic Delight
Democrats barely hide grins. A Biden aide snickered to me: “She gifted us 2028 attack ads.” Oppo teams already mash the puppy chapter with footage of Biden’s German Shepherd. Voiceover: “One leader cares… the other?” Brutal.
⚖️ Legal Limbo
Animal rights groups filed ethics complaints in 12 states. South Dakota’s AG “reviews” investigation demands. Noem’s lawyer fired cease-and-desists to satire sites. They replied with 🤡 emojis.
🤔 Noem’s Next Move?
Insiders say her camp debates: tearful apology tour or double down. Advisers split 50/50. Fundraiser schedule? Empty till August. Conservative PACs reroute cash to Ohio races. Silence screams.
🌍 Foreign Policy Fumble
Her book claimed she “warned Macron about Russian spies.” Élysée Palace archives show… she complimented his ties. French diplomats rolled eyes mid-croissant. Credibility? Shredded.
👎 GOP Groans
Even allies cringe. A GOP senator (anonymous) sighed: “Talent wasted for shock value.” Staffers meme her book cover as To Kill a Mockingbird. Cold.
🚪 Staff Exodus
Drudge blares: “NOEM STAFF EXODUS BEGINS.” Three comms aides quit today. LinkedIn updates confirm. One now hawks “crisis management” skills. Irony bites hard.
Bottom Line: Her political obituary’s drafted. Barring miracles, the brand’s toxic. Future updates? Court dates or tell-alls. What a fall.
